i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
