i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize