Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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