Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So vagazzling was a success
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
