I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize