Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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