check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
