i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
