I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You're like the curious george of whores
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
