Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
