i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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