Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
