I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
