how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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