If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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