My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
