i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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