when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
