guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
