he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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