Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
