Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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