Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
