there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
