Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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