and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
