He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
