Will you blow on my dice?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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