He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
