Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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