hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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