Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
