Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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