It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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