i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
