there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
