she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
