She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
