i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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