Kiss
Puke
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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