this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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