so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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