Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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