Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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