This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize