I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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