We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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