Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
