You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There's always time for handjobs
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
