I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
