Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
