haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
MIDGETS
????
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
