A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
