so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
