Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
