I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
