I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
