There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
