He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
